


social distancing

by h8tedhannah



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, Boys In Love, Coming Out, Love Confessions, M/M, Quarantine, Zalex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:48:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25064935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h8tedhannah/pseuds/h8tedhannah
Summary: quarantine zalex AUZach is left alone with his feelings for Alex in the middle of a pandemic.
Relationships: Zach Dempsey & Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	social distancing

Zach wanted to punch a wall. Or bang his head into it, it didn’t even matter anymore.

He was absolutely bored out of his mind.  
“ZACHARY! DID YOU DISINFECT THE GROCERIES?”  
His mother screamed from the hallway, earning an eye roll from her son. “Yes mom, and I wore a mask like you said.” He said blankly. She scurried into his room with a bottle of hand sanitizer and practically drowned him it. It was strange, but Zach hated his house right now. It smelled so sterile and clean from his corona paranoid mother; that it smelt almost exactly like a hospital. And as everyone knows, Zach Dempsey hates hospitals. He’s been in there way to many times to count; but as he inhaled the smell of Clorox and latex gloves, he remembered his dad, he remembered Justin, and he remembered Alex. He remembered how helpless he felt by their sides, when he could do nothing but stare at their sleeping bodies but wish for them not to die. And that hurt more than anything. He couldn’t escape it. It’s like everywhere he went he was haunted by the same shit; and being trapped in a house where his mother won’t even let him escape it to go for a neighborhood walk had Zach going absolutely insane. Maybe not Clay level, but really fucking annoyed.

Even worse, his mother believed this was a good time do rekindle their mother and son bond, so she had hid his phone from him and forced him to stay off his computer for things over than online college work. He hadn’t seen his friends in over 3 months, and he hadn’t seen Alex in 4 since he came back from Berkeley. Him and Charlie had broken up the first month into quarantine, and Zach felt terrible for not being able to be there with him through the break up. He hadn’t contacted Alex because of his mom and had barley even figured out that the couple had broken up. He felt he had failed Alex, and he hated himself for it. Even worse, these months without alcohol or drugs had given the chance for Zach to think clearly. Possibly a little too clearly for his liking.

It was 2 and a half months into quarantine. Zach was laying in his bed, bouncing a baseball against the ceiling. He started thinking about shit, life in general, but his mind always came back to the same thought.

The rooftop kiss.  
It was stupid really. Alex had accepted that Zach was straight and moved on not even weeks later. They never really talked about it, and it seemed things were fine, like they didn’t really need to.

But Zach wanted to.  
He wanted to know why, why of all people he could have loved, why Alex loved him.  
It was undeniable according to Jessica, her last text to Zach being.  
“It’s obvious Alex never stopped loving you.”  
Zach never got to reply, neither did he want to. Ever since the kiss and all the events of last year, Zach had drowned his feelings In alcohol and impulsive decisions. But now, there was a pandemic and everything had gone to shit; leaving Zach alone but nothing but thoughts about his feelings for Alex. Things couldn’t get worse for Zach Dempsey couldn’t it?

He thought about how he wished he was sober during their kiss, just to be sure on his feelings; because quite honestly the dark haired boy was so unsure of his feelings it scared him. Maybe it was internalized homophobia, or maybe it was the idea of coming out to his mom that absolutely chilled him to the bone, or maybe, it was the thought of hurting Alex or simply not being good enough for him. Whatever it was, it tried to push away all the thoughts of the brown haired boy that he’d been suppressing for so long; but everyday it got harder and harder to do so. Every day as Zach got more time on his hands and more time to think, the less he hated the idea of Alex in his arms and cuddling him, leaving soft kisses on his jawline and smiling as the moonlight reflected on his perfect skin; his hands tracing his scar and whispering sweet nothings into his ear as Alex took them sarcastically and kissed-

Fuck.  
Zach dropped the ball in shock, letting it hit the ground with a thud.  
2 and a half months into quarantine.  
And he realized he’s been in love with Alex the entire time.

The jealously between him and Charlie wasn’t a best friend vs boyfriend thing, it was pure jealously of Zach secretly wishing to take Charlie’s place. The recent hard-ons he got when thinking about how Alex kissed him wasn’t just “physical contact”. Him saying “The kiss wasn’t a disaster.” out of impulse wasn’t to change the mood, it was because he wished to do it again. The possession and will to protect Alex with his life since the very beginning wasn’t brotherly or platonic. The thought of Alex attempting again and leaving him, the constant fear for Alex’s life wasn’t just out of friendship. And the more and more he thought about it- the more and more it scared him.

He was in love with his best friend that he had rejected.

So Zach swallowed the lump in his throat and decided what he was going to do. He took a swing of the last of his vodka and sighed.

Fuck it all, right?

He opened the window in his room and jumped outside, setting off the cameras and motion detectors his mom had set up in his room a while back.

“ZACHARY DEMPSEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITHOUT YOUR MASK!?” His mother screamed after him, throwing a mask at him. But the black haired boy had already blocked her out completely, and as he ran out the window and into the street he ignored his mother’s calls for him and started to run to the place his feet took him too without even thinking. The place he had spent so many nights playing video games, laying on the bed, doing dumb shit, talking about life, and fuck, even slow dancing to homecoming songs to.

The Standall home.

He reached the house in less than 10 minutes and stood in the yard, a panting and limping mess. He had been in such an impulsive rush to get here, he forgot about corona as a whole; as well as all that social distancing shit. It had been so long since he’d seen the boy he loved he didn’t even care anymore. He’d rather have a virus scar his lungs than go another day without telling Alex his true feelings. So as he took a deep breath and prepared to knock on Alex’s window, he closed his eyes and wished for it to all go right, and for Alex not to be pissed at him for saying he was straight in the past.

“Dempsey? What the fuck are you doing here?”  
And there Alex was, standing in the doorframe of the home; leaving a package outside for the mail. He looked great, quarantine had treated him extremely well. His hair was bleached like it was all those years ago, and a septum hung from his nose once again. He had grown more muscular too, and Zach tried to suppress his small blush as he realized he probably looked like shit. “I- I- uh.” He stammered, frozen, but still 6 feet apart from Alex. “I went for a walk?” He managed to say. Alex furrowed his eyebrows. “At 2am? You went for a walk? Wow. The straight male privilege sure is good huh?” He said with a sarcastic laugh. Zach in that moment wanted to say he wasn’t straight- that he was actually in love with the boy right in front of him- but bit his tongue. “Fuck Zach, come in and don’t make noise. My parents would kill me if they found out I’m not social distancing or whatever that shit is.” When Alex said that Zach felt an immense weight lifted off his chest as he followed Alex into the all too firmilar house. Here it didn’t smell like cleaning supplies and hospital, it smelt like home. And it was strange because although this wasn’t even his home, it felt more comfortable than his own. Or maybe it was just because Alex was there, Zach really didn’t know.

“I was beginning to think you died of corona or something.” Alex said quietly when they reached his room. “Yeah.. my mom is being a bitch.” The taller boy replied simply. “I’m sorry..you know..about not being there for you during the breakup. It must have been hard.” Alex sighed and sat on the bed next to Zach, not even meeting his eyes. “It was. At first. But then I realized why I didn’t love Charlie; and more importantly why it didn’t work out between us.” He said, looking at the floor. “Sometimes feelings are confusing Zach, and I think I moved too fast with Charlie. I didn’t give myself enough time to heal.” Zach nodded at his statements, not fully understanding what he meant. “You..you mean heal from Winston?” He asked. Alex darted his eyes to Zach for a moment and a strange feeling the taller boy hadn’t felt in his stomach for a long time overtook him and caused him to freeze. “Um. Yeah. I guess you could say that...” Alex said, twitching his fingers. Zach knew that was a lie, he could tell exactly when Alex was lying. And that statement caused Zachs brain to go into overdrive about what he could be lying about. “I’ve had time too you know, to think about shit.” He said, now looking Alex in the eyes. “Yeah? Me too. As much as I hate this corona shit it sure does remind you how amazing it is to be alive, and more importantly to make most of the life you have.” Zach nodded and pursed his lips; debating if he should say the words he wanted to or not. “Yeah; I mean. I realized I was stupid and in denial about shit I shouldn’t have been. And now- now I guess that’s why I’m here.” Zachs hand brushed against Alex’s and Alex latched onto his finger slowly, in a comforting way. “I realized I fucked up last year Alex. And because I got the chance to live I want to be honest with you. I want to be able to tell you everything like we promised.” Alex nodded. “Well stop stalling and tell me.” Zach took a deep breath before saying the next words. “I- I think I’m- not straight.” He blurted. Alex’s eyes widened and he coughed out, “Well. Wow. Um. Wow.” “Yeah.” Zach said in response. “Do you um, like have a boyfriend now or something?” Alex asked, growing extremely red at asking such an impulsive question like that. Zach laughed and looked Alex in the eyes. “No, actually it’s stupid maybe; but there’s only this one guy I really like- love actually. I really- I really only want him.” Zach said quietly, almost whispering. Alex stared at him for a few long seconds that felt like entirely. Their orbs reflecting in the moonlight and calming meeting in the night. “Yeah. I think I only love one guy too. And I thought- I thought that guy was Charlie, but I was more wrong than ever.”  
Zach smiled, moving a piece of hair from Alex’s face. “I’m sorry for not telling you before, but I fucking love you Alex Standall.”

And soon the space between them was closed and their lips meant. It was different from the first, this time more passionate and loving; with every bit on love passing through their bodies as they held eachother like it was the end of the world. This time it was Zach who kissed Alex, and to Alex it felt like a dream to have the boy he’s loved for so long finally in his arms.

The two separated and collapsed onto Alex’s bed, with Zach spooning Alex and holding him by the waist.

“This isn’t social distancing Zach.”  
“Shut up and kiss me Standall.”

**Author's Note:**

> BRU THIS SUCKS SO MUCH LMAO. I’m sorry this is really the messiest thing ever but who cares I’m bored.
> 
> Twt @xepherszalex


End file.
